True Love and Marriage
Summer time makes me think about romance and love, or true love. Is it the sunshine that makes us fall in love or the beautiful Summer nights? The real question is will love last or is it real love? I think that the word love, gets misused and under used in many ways. Most people say it and don't mean it, or they can't say it at all.
First comes love, then comes marriage, right? At least that is the way it supposed to work, just not for all of us. Relationships take time and you have to be willing to invest the time, into a relationship. Marriage takes work and if two people are not willing to do the work, the marriage won't work.
Some people say they 'know', when someone is the 'one' for them. I decided to ask a few people I know, that have been married for a long period of time, what has kept them married. The answers that I have received are actually kind of amusing.
I started with my uncle, he and his wife just celebrated their 42nd wedding anniversary. My aunt and uncle were married at the age of seventeen, she was pregnant with their first child. They both gave me the same answer, you accept each other and learn, that you can't always have your own way.
My uncle did have the guy version, as any guy usually does and that was, "You learn to shut up". Though they were faced with their challenges from the get go, they over came the obstacles, trials and tribulations, their marriage survived, they survived together and that is what I consider to be, true love.
The fact that my uncle is a romantic, probably helps him. Though their two kids are grown and have families of their own, my uncle still buys his wife roses, on Mothers Day. He still buys roses and chocolates on Valentines Day and her birthday. He remembers the little things that she loves and does them for her. He takes her lunch at work and does the relationship work, because making her happy, makes him happy.
I tease him and tell him, he's not from the planet earth, because men don't do those things, in real life. The truth is, they grew up together and they are each others best friends. I decided I will throw them a huge anniversary party for their 45th and every five years after that, because they continue to love each other.
The next couple I talked to, had been married for 55 years. I first asked the husband, how they survived, his wife was not present. I kept in mind that he is a narrow minded person, his answer was, "Because the government made it impossible, for a guy to afford a divorce".
The wife didn't sound much more positive on her answer, she said "Because when you get old, it doesn't matter anymore, you just live with it". I decided to move on and not ask any more questions. I guess for some, marriage becomes a convenience.
The third person I talked to, had been married for twenty five years. I asked the same question, "How do you make it last?" His answer was not what I expected either, his father in law told him he would go to prison for twenty five years, if he didn't marry his daughter, because of getting her pregnant. He said, "Next week is my twenty fifth anniversary, I would be free next week, if I would have taken the prison sentence".
I was at work and saw my co worker holding hands with her husband, as he walked her back from lunch. I asked her how long she had been married, she told me twenty seven years. I had to ask her my famous question, "How do you make it work?"
I told her my thoughts, that this day in age, anyone that can survive more than five years of marriage, deserves a trophy. The answer she gave was one, that I loved hearing. She said, "We are best friends, we have three kids together, we still do everything together and we are still in love". Now that is what I call, true love.
I guess for the couples that can make it work, means remembering why you fell in love with the person. Accepting each other completely, not trying to change each other and just giving each other the space, to be their own person. Remembering the romance and the little things, that make true love and marriage last.
As for me, though I love romance, I have never been lucky in love. I have not found the lasting relationship and the true love. Maybe some are blessed and the rest of us are just cursed. I am happy just being me and I accept what ever life throws my way.
For those of you out there, that found true love, that are married and making it last, I Commend you. Congratulations on putting in the effort and making it work.
What are your thoughts on true love and marriage? Do you believe that it really exists? Have you found it and how do you make it last?
Everyone, Have a Great Week!
Bobbie
XoXoXo
First comes love, then comes marriage, right? At least that is the way it supposed to work, just not for all of us. Relationships take time and you have to be willing to invest the time, into a relationship. Marriage takes work and if two people are not willing to do the work, the marriage won't work.
Some people say they 'know', when someone is the 'one' for them. I decided to ask a few people I know, that have been married for a long period of time, what has kept them married. The answers that I have received are actually kind of amusing.
I started with my uncle, he and his wife just celebrated their 42nd wedding anniversary. My aunt and uncle were married at the age of seventeen, she was pregnant with their first child. They both gave me the same answer, you accept each other and learn, that you can't always have your own way.
My uncle did have the guy version, as any guy usually does and that was, "You learn to shut up". Though they were faced with their challenges from the get go, they over came the obstacles, trials and tribulations, their marriage survived, they survived together and that is what I consider to be, true love.
The fact that my uncle is a romantic, probably helps him. Though their two kids are grown and have families of their own, my uncle still buys his wife roses, on Mothers Day. He still buys roses and chocolates on Valentines Day and her birthday. He remembers the little things that she loves and does them for her. He takes her lunch at work and does the relationship work, because making her happy, makes him happy.
I tease him and tell him, he's not from the planet earth, because men don't do those things, in real life. The truth is, they grew up together and they are each others best friends. I decided I will throw them a huge anniversary party for their 45th and every five years after that, because they continue to love each other.
The next couple I talked to, had been married for 55 years. I first asked the husband, how they survived, his wife was not present. I kept in mind that he is a narrow minded person, his answer was, "Because the government made it impossible, for a guy to afford a divorce".
The wife didn't sound much more positive on her answer, she said "Because when you get old, it doesn't matter anymore, you just live with it". I decided to move on and not ask any more questions. I guess for some, marriage becomes a convenience.
The third person I talked to, had been married for twenty five years. I asked the same question, "How do you make it last?" His answer was not what I expected either, his father in law told him he would go to prison for twenty five years, if he didn't marry his daughter, because of getting her pregnant. He said, "Next week is my twenty fifth anniversary, I would be free next week, if I would have taken the prison sentence".
I was at work and saw my co worker holding hands with her husband, as he walked her back from lunch. I asked her how long she had been married, she told me twenty seven years. I had to ask her my famous question, "How do you make it work?"
I told her my thoughts, that this day in age, anyone that can survive more than five years of marriage, deserves a trophy. The answer she gave was one, that I loved hearing. She said, "We are best friends, we have three kids together, we still do everything together and we are still in love". Now that is what I call, true love.
I guess for the couples that can make it work, means remembering why you fell in love with the person. Accepting each other completely, not trying to change each other and just giving each other the space, to be their own person. Remembering the romance and the little things, that make true love and marriage last.
As for me, though I love romance, I have never been lucky in love. I have not found the lasting relationship and the true love. Maybe some are blessed and the rest of us are just cursed. I am happy just being me and I accept what ever life throws my way.
For those of you out there, that found true love, that are married and making it last, I Commend you. Congratulations on putting in the effort and making it work.
What are your thoughts on true love and marriage? Do you believe that it really exists? Have you found it and how do you make it last?
Everyone, Have a Great Week!
Bobbie
XoXoXo
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