15 Things I Have Learned As A Woman

They say with age comes wisdom, I agree with that. Wisdom comes from learning and what we learn throughout our life, is how we develop wisdom. When I was turning 40, I had people ask me how it felt, I wasn't dreading getting older, so I wasn't sure how to answer.

I was working in the service industry at that time, I had a conversation with an elderly client in her seventies, explaining that I was turning 40 and everyone kept asking  me that question. To my surprise, she asked me another question, "What have you learned so far, as a woman?"

At first I laughed, because I wasn't sure how to answer her, I had never really thought about it. I asked her to give me a moment to think about it. Then when I answered, I said  "I made mistakes in my twenties, in relationships and financially, paid for them in my thirties and I hope that my forties are better". 

She started laughing and said "Oh Bobbie girl, you are learning". That was the day, that made me start thinking about what I have learned in life so far, as a woman. When I was growing up, I was taught to respect my elders, the older person will teach you, so listen to them and learn from them.

The old fashioned values, don't seem to be what people are teaching their kids anymore. Back in the day, kids were taught to respect others, hold the door for an elderly person or for someone else. Boys were taught to be gentlemen and girls were taught to act like ladies, what ever happened to that?

This day in age, girls post nude pictures of themselves and reveal way to much on the internet. You don't see to many boys growing up to be gentlemen anymore either. I was taught that respect is something you have to earn, it is not given. It all comes down to parents teaching their kids and it seems to be a trend these days, that many parents aren't teaching their kids about good morals and old fashioned values.

I find that to be both sad and scary, I have always tried to teach my kids both and lead them by example. How you present yourself to the world, will determine how the world will treat you. As parents, we need to teach our kids to have good morals, respect others and earn respect, it's our job as a parent.

I learned, there is no such thing as a perfect life, a perfect person or a perfect parent. Everyone makes mistakes in life, we just have to learn from our mistakes and stop repeating them. I surely don't want to try and tell people how to live life, or how to be a parent. I can share what I have learned in life so far, if someone learns from that, great, I love to inspire people as well as be inspired by others.

After giving it alot of thought, I narrowed it down to 15 things that I have learned and can share with other people. Here they are, if anyone has anything not on my list please, post a comment and share what you have learned yourself.

1. Life is not fair and it isn't supposed to be.
2. Never assume anything in life- The best advice ever given to me was from an elderly man. He said "Bobbie, the one thing I learned in life , assume means make an ass of you and me, never assume someone will be there, never assume that you know what someone will do". 
3. You have to be happy with yourself, before you can be happy with someone else.
4. Be true to yourself . Never shove your dreams aside to help a man become successful. Your dreams are just as important as someone else's. 
5. Set goals and stick to them- In order to achieve your dreams, you have to set goals and stick to them. Use your alone time or down time, to focus on your goals. Don't shove your goals aside to make someone else happy, you will only cause yourself to be miserable..
6. Learn to listen- If you don't actually listen to what someone is saying, you won't learn anything. I learned to be a good listener.
7. Be kind- Kindness comes in many forms, doing something simple, such as paying someone a compliment, can make a difference. 
8. Have a positive attitude- A smart ass attitude won't get anyone anywhere, neither will negativity.
9. Men will be just as manipulative as a woman, to get what they want. They thrive on success and they will use whoever they can, to get to where they want to be. They say that woman will scratch and claw to get what they want, so do men.
10. Pay it forward- If someone does something nice for you, do something nice for them or someone else in return. What goes around, really will come around.
11. Don't take everything to heart- My grandmother taught me that one, she had eleven kids and raised me and a few of my cousins. As a parent, I had moments where I would call her crying and asking her for advice. One day she said " Bobbie, I learned that your kids will say things, that will step on your heart, you just can't take it all to heart, even though sometimes it hurts, they all go through stages".
12. Never expect anything from anyone- Keep expectations low, or you will set yourself up for disappointment. Evaluate what you expect from others and what others expect from you.
13. Don't be a follower- just because you see someone else doing something, doesn't mean that you should do the same thing, be your own person.
14. Make good decisions- The decisions that you make for yourself, are what determines how life is going to go for you. If you make bad decisions for yourself, life is going to be tough.
15. Have Faith- I believe in God and the power of a prayer. When things go bad for me, I pray that God will get me through and help me find solutions to me problems. I believe at the end of the day, God is the only one that will come through for me. If he don't, then I know I am supposed to be learning something or there is a reason for everything.

The truth is, everyday can be a day to learn something in life, we are never to old to learn. I think this day in age, woman need to take control of their own lives. We need to establish ourselves as a woman and find our own success in what makes us happy, before we become a wife or a mom. 

One more old fashioned trend that has diminished and I am alright with, is that a woman becomes a "MRS" and her identity is all about her husband and his success. Today woman are more independent, waiting longer to get married and have babies, because we do want to establish our own identities. 

There you have it, the things that I have learned in life so far. I am still learning in some way, shape or form.

Everyone- Have A Great Week!

Bobbie

XoXoXo