How I Survived as a Single Mom: Part 3
Dear Loyal Readers,
I am trying to get better at posting once a week, instead of once a month. This time, my gap is due to my Mamma passing away. The past few weeks have been heart breaking, but I know she is in a better place, heaven. Most of you know, she was my grandmother but raised me from birth, she was my Mamma and my best friend. I will talk more about her in a future post. Now back to sharing my life story with you.
I was feeling defeated, by having to move into low income housing. I was far away and moving in the opposite direction, from my goals. I was feeling frustrated, yet trying to accept where I was at in life. I had given up on my writing, put away my notebooks and my computer sat in a corner, unused and collecting dust.
I learned the hard way quickly that there are negative people in this world, that enjoy kicking people while they are down. The boss that I had at the time, started becoming to involved in my life, to put it politely. There had been several comments and remarks that he had made to me, that were wrong on many levels.
Over the few years that I had worked the job I had, there were attempts and comments made, that I blew off, due to him being drunk. In the beginning, I was intimidated by him and avoided him as much as I could, at work. After I had a few girls night out, with my co-workers, I had gotten to know him a bit.
I was offered an Assistant Manager position at another Casino that he was affiliated with. The day that I gave my notice and accepted the position, my boss (one of the owners) asked me to have a meeting with him at another bar that he owned. I agreed to meet him and had to call my grandma and ask her to keep the kids a bit longer.
I showed up at the bar and we sat at a table. He bought me a drink and offered me a future General Manager position, if I basically, had an affair with him. I was quickly looking for a way out the door. I tried to be polite and told him that I would think about it and left.
As I drove to get my kids, I thought about a previous night, while I was bartending and he had came in and sat at the bar. He had been drinking and ordered a drink, I served him his beer and went about business, waiting on the other customers.
He called me down to the end of the bar, where he sat. As I stood in front of him, he started asking me what I wanted and if I had a boyfriend. I explained that I was a single mom and single. He made the comment, "You won't find a husband standing behind this bar, you have two kids and no guy is going to want you".
I became furious, real fast. I retaliated firmly and as calmly as I could with, "I work here, because I need a paycheck, not because I'm looking for a husband and I will take my two kids any day over any man, that does not want me, because I have kids". He threw a $20 bill down on the bar and walked out.
As I flash backed on that night, it took me two seconds to make my decision on his offer. I had integrity and I wasn't going to lower myself to that level. The next day, I let him know that my decision to take the other position, was a done deal. I apologized that I could not accept his offer and wished him and his wife the best for their marriage, for the future.
Three months after taking the other job, he was finding ways to screw it up for me. My new employer, informed me that I was not to go near the other Casino or else i would be fired. That to me, meant not seeing the Horse Betters and the Preakness race, was a week away. I wanted to be there with them, to watch it as I had for the previous four years.
I wasn't going to allow this boss to control my life anymore than I allowed the previous one to. I gave my two weeks notice and he paid me for it, without making me work it. I got in my car, drove across town and confronted my previous boss. I also asked him for a letter of recommendation. I was officially unemployed and started job hunting. I had no luck getting another job and after three months and being on the brink of losing everything, I ended up back working for him. He got what he wanted.
Shortly after I returned, the VIP tickets to concerts and different events, were being handed to me. He was on a "mission to prove to me that he was not evil" and those were his exact words to me. He was still paying me two separate wages, one wage for bartending and the other wage for Supervising. My job duties increased and I was basically doing the General Manager position, without the title and the pay.
I was offered a few other jobs, for less than I was making there, so I turned them down. I was the provider of my house hold and I needed the money, to do what my grandmother taught me to do, keep a roof over my kids head, food on the table, clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. I had responsibilities and had to make decisions based on that.
Over the next few years, things started getting crazy with my boss again. He had been sticking his nose in my personal life way to much. Did everything that he could to discourage any relationship that I had had, with another then bar owner. He put him down in front of me and tried to keep me away from him, by changing my work schedule.
I had to work from noon to midnight on Friday and then 8am to 5pm on Friday. He knew I would be to tired on Saturday to have energy over the weekend to have a personal life. The guy that I had been seeing, was drinking heavily and one night after a Bowling tournament decided to have a moment with my boss, by dumping his drink down the front of him, almost on his head.
I quickly pushed him away from my boss and reminded him, I needed my job with him, I had two kids to support. I walked away from him that night and ended the fling that I had had with him. Again, my boss had gotten what he wanted.
A few months after I had moved in to the low income housing, the moment that would change everything had happened. It was my birthday and I was turning 35. One of my guy friends asked me to go have a drink, even though it was a Sunday. We decided to go to my work and bet on the Dog Races. My plan was to only be gone a few hours.
My boss showed up, normally he left early on Sunday. He started buying shots after he won $600 on a machine and pissed off one of the regular customers that had lost money playing it, before he did. I listened to the customer vent, as she told me how many times she pumped a machine and he would come along and win after she moved to another machine. She wanted to know why an owner was allowed to play the machines in an establishment they owned. She made a god point, so I got him to spend the $600, buying everyone that was there drinks.
After the $600 was spent, I was seriously intoxicated and new I needed to go home. I was getting ready to leave, when my boss had called me to the end of the bar. He grabbed the waist of my jeans, ripped my pants unbuttoned and told me he wanted to see if I was shaved. I shoved him away and told him he had gone to far this time. I got one of the other employees to drive him home and 86'd him from drinking there again.
The next day, I was back at the job service and looking for another job. I applied at Directv and was called for an interview the next day. I went to work and he came and apologized to me. my response was: " I accept your apology, don't ever let it happen again, you are not allowed to drink here again". I let him know I requested a meeting with his business partner and that I was looking for another job.
Leading up to that night, he started stopping by my house. if he saw me outside with my kids, playing Golf or Football in our yard, he said to see what I was up to. I knew it was out of control and that it was time for a change for me. I took the job at Directv and quit, the place sold six months later.
Everyone Have a Great Week.
Bobbie
XoXoXo
I am trying to get better at posting once a week, instead of once a month. This time, my gap is due to my Mamma passing away. The past few weeks have been heart breaking, but I know she is in a better place, heaven. Most of you know, she was my grandmother but raised me from birth, she was my Mamma and my best friend. I will talk more about her in a future post. Now back to sharing my life story with you.
I was feeling defeated, by having to move into low income housing. I was far away and moving in the opposite direction, from my goals. I was feeling frustrated, yet trying to accept where I was at in life. I had given up on my writing, put away my notebooks and my computer sat in a corner, unused and collecting dust.
I learned the hard way quickly that there are negative people in this world, that enjoy kicking people while they are down. The boss that I had at the time, started becoming to involved in my life, to put it politely. There had been several comments and remarks that he had made to me, that were wrong on many levels.
Over the few years that I had worked the job I had, there were attempts and comments made, that I blew off, due to him being drunk. In the beginning, I was intimidated by him and avoided him as much as I could, at work. After I had a few girls night out, with my co-workers, I had gotten to know him a bit.
I was offered an Assistant Manager position at another Casino that he was affiliated with. The day that I gave my notice and accepted the position, my boss (one of the owners) asked me to have a meeting with him at another bar that he owned. I agreed to meet him and had to call my grandma and ask her to keep the kids a bit longer.
I showed up at the bar and we sat at a table. He bought me a drink and offered me a future General Manager position, if I basically, had an affair with him. I was quickly looking for a way out the door. I tried to be polite and told him that I would think about it and left.
As I drove to get my kids, I thought about a previous night, while I was bartending and he had came in and sat at the bar. He had been drinking and ordered a drink, I served him his beer and went about business, waiting on the other customers.
He called me down to the end of the bar, where he sat. As I stood in front of him, he started asking me what I wanted and if I had a boyfriend. I explained that I was a single mom and single. He made the comment, "You won't find a husband standing behind this bar, you have two kids and no guy is going to want you".
I became furious, real fast. I retaliated firmly and as calmly as I could with, "I work here, because I need a paycheck, not because I'm looking for a husband and I will take my two kids any day over any man, that does not want me, because I have kids". He threw a $20 bill down on the bar and walked out.
As I flash backed on that night, it took me two seconds to make my decision on his offer. I had integrity and I wasn't going to lower myself to that level. The next day, I let him know that my decision to take the other position, was a done deal. I apologized that I could not accept his offer and wished him and his wife the best for their marriage, for the future.
Three months after taking the other job, he was finding ways to screw it up for me. My new employer, informed me that I was not to go near the other Casino or else i would be fired. That to me, meant not seeing the Horse Betters and the Preakness race, was a week away. I wanted to be there with them, to watch it as I had for the previous four years.
I wasn't going to allow this boss to control my life anymore than I allowed the previous one to. I gave my two weeks notice and he paid me for it, without making me work it. I got in my car, drove across town and confronted my previous boss. I also asked him for a letter of recommendation. I was officially unemployed and started job hunting. I had no luck getting another job and after three months and being on the brink of losing everything, I ended up back working for him. He got what he wanted.
Shortly after I returned, the VIP tickets to concerts and different events, were being handed to me. He was on a "mission to prove to me that he was not evil" and those were his exact words to me. He was still paying me two separate wages, one wage for bartending and the other wage for Supervising. My job duties increased and I was basically doing the General Manager position, without the title and the pay.
I was offered a few other jobs, for less than I was making there, so I turned them down. I was the provider of my house hold and I needed the money, to do what my grandmother taught me to do, keep a roof over my kids head, food on the table, clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. I had responsibilities and had to make decisions based on that.
Over the next few years, things started getting crazy with my boss again. He had been sticking his nose in my personal life way to much. Did everything that he could to discourage any relationship that I had had, with another then bar owner. He put him down in front of me and tried to keep me away from him, by changing my work schedule.
I had to work from noon to midnight on Friday and then 8am to 5pm on Friday. He knew I would be to tired on Saturday to have energy over the weekend to have a personal life. The guy that I had been seeing, was drinking heavily and one night after a Bowling tournament decided to have a moment with my boss, by dumping his drink down the front of him, almost on his head.
I quickly pushed him away from my boss and reminded him, I needed my job with him, I had two kids to support. I walked away from him that night and ended the fling that I had had with him. Again, my boss had gotten what he wanted.
A few months after I had moved in to the low income housing, the moment that would change everything had happened. It was my birthday and I was turning 35. One of my guy friends asked me to go have a drink, even though it was a Sunday. We decided to go to my work and bet on the Dog Races. My plan was to only be gone a few hours.
My boss showed up, normally he left early on Sunday. He started buying shots after he won $600 on a machine and pissed off one of the regular customers that had lost money playing it, before he did. I listened to the customer vent, as she told me how many times she pumped a machine and he would come along and win after she moved to another machine. She wanted to know why an owner was allowed to play the machines in an establishment they owned. She made a god point, so I got him to spend the $600, buying everyone that was there drinks.
After the $600 was spent, I was seriously intoxicated and new I needed to go home. I was getting ready to leave, when my boss had called me to the end of the bar. He grabbed the waist of my jeans, ripped my pants unbuttoned and told me he wanted to see if I was shaved. I shoved him away and told him he had gone to far this time. I got one of the other employees to drive him home and 86'd him from drinking there again.
The next day, I was back at the job service and looking for another job. I applied at Directv and was called for an interview the next day. I went to work and he came and apologized to me. my response was: " I accept your apology, don't ever let it happen again, you are not allowed to drink here again". I let him know I requested a meeting with his business partner and that I was looking for another job.
Leading up to that night, he started stopping by my house. if he saw me outside with my kids, playing Golf or Football in our yard, he said to see what I was up to. I knew it was out of control and that it was time for a change for me. I took the job at Directv and quit, the place sold six months later.
Everyone Have a Great Week.
Bobbie
XoXoXo
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