Stop Domestic Violence

When most people hear the words "Domestic Violence", they assume that some guy, beat up some woman. In most cases that is true, but it goes both ways, men are victim's of this also. I never thought about it being that way, until I witnessed it first hand. 

One of my uncles was involved in a relationship, with a woman that suffers from Bi Polar disease. What he went through, was unreal. There was one night, where she tried to stab him when he was sleeping, then called the Police and said he hit her and because of her saying that, he went to jail. 

It's sad; but true, in most cases, when the Police are called in a domestic abuse case and a woman is the first to say that she was hit, the guy's go to jail. I think at times, even the Police aren't thinking that Men can be the victim's of domestic abuse.

My uncle had a child with the woman and was trapped in the relationship. There were so many incidents, when she would freak out for no reason. I was standing next to him one day, while he was showing me their one month old baby. This woman, took a rock and threw it at him and hit him in the nose, for no reason. 

Thank God, their child was not hit with the rock, but blood from his nose, went all over the baby. He handed me the baby and she started hitting him, then called the Police and said he was hitting her and he went to jail, she took off in her car and left her baby.

I took their baby home with me and called Family Services and reported what I had witnessed, they did nothing. This woman played the victim so well, they believed her story. My uncle finally got out of the relationship, after years of going to jail repeatedly. The woman was diagnosed with Bi Polar disease and the Courts and Police, never took that into consideration, in his defense.

The reality is, violence is violence. Any human being that strikes at another person or throws objects at another human being, is passing violence off, to another human being. There is nothing right about violence to anyone, it's just wrong and against the law.

I now have a neighbor that I have had to call the Police on, on several occasions. I have spent several nights at 3 am, listening to her throwing objects at him and him yelling back, "I didn't touch you or do anything to you, why are you freaking out?" The Police show up and he gets taken to jail. 

This made me think about, how society has changed, yet we still aren't keeping up with the times. The down side is, to my knowledge, there are no Battered Men's Shelters, for Men. Men don't have a place to take their children, in the middle of the night, to escape an abusive Woman.  

It really does go both ways, there needs to be a place for the Men to go, especially when they are trying to keep their children safe. To my knowledge, there are no support groups for Battered Men, to help them deal with being in an abusive relationship. If any exist, I am unaware of them. 

My Mother was in an abusive marriage, it's why I never lived with her as a child. There were nights, I would wake up to her screaming and her husband had put her head through a wall. I remember the Police taking us to a Battered Woman's Shelter, in the middle of the night. It took her years to get out of that marriage and she destroyed her relationship with me, because of it.

When two people are angry and fighting, things usually escalate and people need to learn, when to walk away. To continue to fight, to the point when things are getting physical, is crazy. For any Woman or Man to stay in a toxic relationship, that leads to violence, is even more crazy. 

Domestic Abuse takes it's toll on the children that have to grow up to it. It can teach children, that violence is OK. and it's not. There are statistics that show, that children that grow up in a violent environment, end up in violent relationships or passing violence off to others as adults. 

It is a pattern and a cycle, that needs to be broken. Girls also have to be taught, that it's not OK, to hit Boys.  If a Child grows up to an abusive Parent, they usually have anger inside of them, that they take out on other people. 

Nobody should have to listen to their neighbors fighting constantly, it's ridiculous. The reality is, it goes both ways. Woman can be abusive and Men can be victims of Domestic Abuse. People develop toxic patterns of abuse and need to break the pattern. 

I sat through a meeting, for Woman of Domestic Abuse and spoke with a counselor at a Battered Woman's Shelter. They have tools that try to to use, to teach woman not to be the victim and to not play the victim. The stories that I heard, were very sad, some were used to the abuse, because of a abusive parent or because they grew up in the environment. 

There are many Anger Management groups in this world, that prove, anger can lead to violence. How people deal with anger, is what they need to change, they need to break the pattern. It's really selfish, to make any child grow up in an abusive household and not break the pattern. 

Cancer doesn't discriminate, Men, Woman and Children can all become victims of it, that we know is a reality and a fact. The fact we don't hear anyone talking about, is that Domestic Abuse is happening and Men, Woman and Children are all victims of it, not just Woman. 

If there is anything that I could change, in this world, it would be: "Stop Domestic Abuse".

I feel there needs to me more options for Men, in today's world, that are victims, they need some place safe to go as well and jail isn't it. If you know of anyone that is in an abusive relationship, encourage them, to get out and to get counseling. 

Everyone, have a great week!

Bobbie

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